What if Lent wasn’t about giving something up… but giving yourself what you actually need?
Growing up Catholic, Ash Wednesday always meant a trip to church and a smudge of ashes on my forehead – made from the burnt palms of the year before. Lent was a time to give something up: chocolate, crisps, maybe wine.
Traditionally, Lent is about fasting and self-denial. But what if you approached it differently this year?
Instead of depriving yourself, what if you made a promise to do one small thing for yourself each day – to support your healing, happiness, and health?
As someone who’s been through a divorce, I know how easily self-care can fall off the list. You might be showing up for everyone else, but neglecting yourself – emotionally, mentally, and physically. And when you’re navigating heartbreak, that’s when you need care the most.
You’ve probably heard the oxygen mask analogy: if you don’t take care of yourself first, you can’t care for anyone else. But this isn’t just about survival. Daily self-care boosts your mood, reduces stress, sharpens your thinking, and helps you rebuild confidence. It’s one of the most powerful ways to move forward after a breakup – and it’s completely within your control.
15 Self-care ideas to try this Lent
So this Lent, instead of giving something up, commit to giving to yourself – even if it’s just five minutes a day. Pick one of the tips below that appeals to you or try different ones depending on what you feel like on the day. Choose something that you think would either make you feel happy or more relaxed.
1. Practice Gratitude
Studies have shown that practicing gratitude regularly, not only improves our cardiac health, but it helps to reduce depression and anxiety levels and gives us peace of mind. Start by listing 3 three things you’re grateful for every morning and make sure you feel the emotion associated with it. At the end of the day list 3 amazing things that have happened. Both of these can be really difficult to do when you’re going through a breakup – but stick with it and you will notice a difference.
2. Get outside every day
As well as increasing your Vitamin D levels this also helps to reduce stress, boost your mental health and sleep better – all of which are essential when you’re going through a breakup. Try and get outside every day, even if it’s only for 10 minutes.
3. Get an early night
A lot of people suffer from insomnia when they’re going through a breakup but it’s so important to try and get some quality sleep. Not only is it important for your physical health but it also helps to improve your mental health by reducing stress and anxiety and improving your mood. Introduce a bedtime routine and make sure you go to bed and get up at the same time every day – even at the weekends.
4. Make healthy food choices
Make the time to cook healthy nutritious meals for yourself – you’ll feel so much better. I know how difficult that is if you’re on your own – I lived on cereal for dinner for months after my divorce! Try and view cooking as time for you at the end of the day, instead of reaching for a microwave meal.
5. Meditate
If you haven’t done this before then start with just a couple of minutes and don’t expect to be perfect at it straight away – it takes practice. Research shows that regular meditation reduces the effects of stress on our body and calms the part of our brain that is responsible for the fight or flight response. Try one of the apps if you’re new to it and they will guide you through it.
6. Exercise
Even if it’s for just 10 minutes a day. Exercising and getting your heart rate up increases the ‘feel good’ factor as your ‘happy hormones’ dopamine and serotonin are released. Choose something you love doing as you’re much more likely to stick to it and you don’t want this to become another chore.
7. Do an activity that you love
A lot of my clients have lost sight of these things what makes them happy – as they’re used to putting themselves at the bottom of their ‘To Do’ list. If you’re struggling – think back to the type of things you loved doing in your childhood or what you did for fun before you were married? Engaging in an activity that you love, and you can lose yourself in, is so beneficial for your mental health. If you’re really stuck get one of the adult colouring books and spend some time on that every day.
8. Do something for someone else
Yes, I know this seems counter-intuitive, but research shows that doing an act of kindness for someone else boosts our own wellbeing as well as theirs. Try and do one thing for someone else every day and notice how it makes you feel.
9. Laugh more
There’s nothing like a good belly aching laugh to make you feel better. It’s been tough over the last year with Covid-19 and lockdown. But if you’re on your own, immerse yourself in a comedy film or box set. A trusted favourite of mine is either Sex in the City or Friends or for a film – We’re the Millers. They never fail to make me laugh out loud and feel better immediately.
10. Say No more
Prioritise yourself and say No to something you don’t want to do or don’t have time for. I know this is really difficult for us People Pleasers but you’re not doing yourself any favours and often you just end up feeling stressed and resentful. Start practicing this, whether it’s at work or in your personal life, and don’t feel like you have to justify saying No.
11. Come off Social media in the evening
It’s not good for your mental health to be permanently glued to your phone – especially when you’re going through a breakup. It’s too easy to stalk your ex to see what they’re up to without you or to compare yourself to everyone else’s seemingly ‘perfect’ life on-line. Remember people only post the parts of their life they want you to see and all it does by looking is to increase your stress and loneliness.
12. Take a bath
Take some time out for you to chill and relax. Have a bath after work and relax in your favourite bubble bath with some lovely, scented candles. Then get into your PJs and chill for the rest of the evening.
13. Journal
This can be a really helpful practice to get into, especially if you’re going through a breakup. It’s a way of getting all your emotions out of you so that you can process them and notice patterns. Unless you become consciously aware of your thoughts, you can’t do anything about them to change them or challenge them – and that’s when you stay stuck. Some people like to journal for 5 – 10 minutes at the start of the day as it helps to clear their head before they start work, but do whatever feels right for you.
14. De-clutter
Research shows that clutter increases our stress levels and therefore the level of cortisol in our bodies which is not good for our health. It also reduces creativity and focus and means it’s difficult to relax. It’s especially important to ensure your bedroom is clutter free if you’re having trouble sleeping. Aim to do 5 minutes of de-cluttering a day or spend some time doing it one weekend – you’ll feel so much better for it and it helps you to take some of your control back if you’re going through a breakup.
15. Treat yourself
Whether that’s buying something you’ve had your eye on for ages or treating yourself to something like a massage. Spoiling yourself and buying yourself something special shows you that you’re worth it. Treating yourself to something like a massage has the added benefit of reducing anxiety and depression and lowering your blood pressure and stress levels.
To summarise
If self-care hasn’t been part of your routine, it might feel unfamiliar or even uncomfortable at first. That’s normal. Like any habit, it takes time – but Lent gives you a perfect 40-day window to start.
You don’t need hours a day or expensive routines. Just small, consistent acts of care can have a big impact – especially when you’re recovering from a breakup or navigating life after divorce.
Use this time to reconnect with yourself. Build habits that restore your energy, rebuild your confidence, and remind you that you are worth taking care of.
BUT don’t use this as something else to beat yourself up with if you don’t stick to it or you miss a day. Be kind to yourself.
If you’re struggling to move forward after your breakup or divorce, download my free guide: ‘Reclaim your inner spark and find happiness again after your breakup’
