Going through a breakup or divorce is tough – and feeling grateful probably seems like the last thing you want to do right now. But stick with me.
Gratitude isn’t about pretending everything’s fine. It’s about choosing to notice what is still good, even when so much feels uncertain or painful. And that shift in perspective can make a huge difference to how you cope and how you heal.
Backed by Positive Psychology research, gratitude is one of the most powerful (and underused) tools for improving your mental and emotional well-being. It helps you:
Feel happier
Reduce stress and depression
Build resilience
Sleep better
Boost self-esteem
And it’s not just about writing a quick list. The real magic happens when you feel the positive emotions behind what you’re grateful for – even if you’re starting small.
8 Reasons gratitude is so important during your divorce
Here aer 8 ways gratitude can support you during your divorce – and why it’s worth giving it a try, even when it feels hard.
1. It makes us happier
Research shows that having a daily 5-minute gratitude journal increases your long-term well-being by more than 10% – which is the same impact as doubling your income! It improves your health, emotions, relationships, career and personality. It also has a compounding effect – gratitude makes you feel even more grateful. It also helps to reduce the effects of depression and to improve your mental health which can really suffer during divorce.
2. Improves your physical health
People who are grateful experience less aches and pains and generally feel healthier. They are more likely to look after their health, exercise regularly and lead a healthy lifestyle. It also helps to reduce blood pressure and increase energy levels.
3. It improves sleep
It increases the length of your sleep as well as improving the quality. Lack of sleep is often an issue for people going through a divorce. Practicing 10 to15 minutes of gratitude before going to sleep can really make a difference.
4. Improves self-esteem
It makes you feel better about yourself. Research has shown the gratitude helps to reduce comparisons between yourself and other people and means you’re more able to appreciate other people’s accomplishments. It makes you kinder and more friendly and because of that people are more likely to reach out to you and offer help.
5. Builds your resilience
People who express gratitude are more resilient and bounce-back quicker from setbacks which is essential during a divorce. They tend be more pro-active and ask for help when they need it and are more likely to grow during times of stress. Ask yourself what you have learnt from your divorce which will help you in your future life.
6. Helps to reduce fears
This is especially important when you’re going through a divorce. It’s almost impossible to be grateful and fearful at the same time. When you’re in a state of fear you’re in a state of lack and scarcity, whereas when you’re grateful you’re in a state of abundance. It helps you to appreciate what you have in the moment, instead of worrying about what you don’t have.
7. It shifts your focus
What you focus on, you get more of, as your brain automatically scans to find more of what you’re focusing on. So if you’re feeling grateful and positive, you will automatically see more of that in your life and it has a compounding effect.
8. It improves your relationships
Whether that’s existing relationships or new relationships. Everyone loves to feel appreciated. Showing appreciation to friends and family makes them feel more valued and helps you to have a deeper connection with them. Saying thank you to acquaintances means they are more likely to want to develop a friendship with you.
To summarise
Practising gratitude daily won’t change your circumstances overnight – but over time, it will change how you feel in them. Research shows the real benefits often start to show after about three months of consistent practice. I’ve seen it work with my clients, and in my own life too.
Start small. Even if it’s just appreciating your morning coffee, the roof over your head, or the quiet moment before your day begins. Over time, those small moments build into a more grounded, hopeful mindset – one that helps you cope, heal, and move forward.
If you’re struggling to find that sense of hope right now, download my free guide: ‘Make divorce the best thing that’s ever happened to you.‘ It’s packed with practical tools to help you rebuild, refocus, and start feeling good again – one step at a time.
👉 Get the guide here
And if you want something simple to lift your mood and energy each day – Grab my ‘Daily Happiness Habits’ – they’re small, science-backed actions that are simple to do – but make a big difference to how you feel and show up in life.
