If you’re spending Mother’s Day without your children this year… you’re not alone… and it doesn’t have to be miserable.
For many divorced or separated mums, this day can feel like a cruel reminder of everything that’s changed. Watching other families celebrate while you’re on your own can feel raw, no matter how strong you usually are.
But here’s the truth: Mother’s Day is still your day. Even if your kids are with your ex, you still deserve to feel celebrated, appreciated, and cared for. The key is planning ahead – and making space for what you need.
If possible, try to agree upfront with your ex about who will have the kids – maybe you swap years, or celebrate on a different day. But if that’s not doable, it doesn’t mean the day is a write-off.
It’s OK to feel sad. But you also get to decide how you respond. You can make the day about rest, freedom, connection, or joy – whatever you need most.
8 tips to help make your day special
Here are 8 ways to help you make the best of it, and maybe even enjoy it.
1. Arrange to see friends who are in the same situation
You could meet for lunch, a lovely walk in nature or afternoon tea – whatever it is that you love doing. Make sure you’re spending it with friends who light you up and make you feel good about yourself. The last thing you want to be doing is moaning about not being with your kids and bringing each other down.
2. Spend some quality time with your own mum or someone who’s like a mum to you
I’m betting that now you have kids you don’t get much opportunity to spend quality time alone with your own mum. Plan a special day for the two of you so that you can enjoy each other’s company without being disturbed by the little ones.
3. Get outside in nature
Enjoy being present without watching the clock and feeling pressured to get back home at a certain time. Grab a coffee, sit in nature and just be present in the moment. Enjoy the alone time with your thoughts and really tune in to your senses, noting what you can see, hear, taste, touch and feel. This helps you to be present and is great for reducing anxiety and calming the nervous system.
4. Have a pamper day
Whether you book yourself into a spa or create a pamper day for yourself at home, either on your own or with a friend. Indulge yourself in everything that you normally don’t get a chance to do when you have the kids. It could just be pampering yourself with a long hot bath with some scented candles and your favourite magazines, or booking in for some treatments – you’ll feel so much better for it.
5. Take the time to just chill out
As a mum you’re continually on the go trying to juggle everything. Take the day to just chill and even spend it in your PJs if that’s what makes you happy. Take the time to read a book you’ve been meaning to start for ages, treat yourself to your favourite magazines, or binge that boxset you’ve wanted to watch for ages but never had the time.
6. Move your body
This is the quickest way to shift your emotions when you’re feeling negative. You’ll feel so much better with the release of all the endorphins from moving your body. Do whatever you enjoy, whether that’s a run, an exercise class, or a walk outside.
7. Stay off social media
All you’ll be doing is torturing yourself with everyone else’s highlight reels of the so called perfect Mother’s Day, which rarely represents the reality. You want to be focusing on things that are going to lift your spirits today, so take the pressure off of the comparisons and give yourself a break for the day.
8. Celebrate with the kids on another day
Who says you have to celebrate on the official Mother’s Day. The important thing is that you celebrate with the kids and make memories together. You get to enjoy a day to yourself spending it how you want and then another day with the kids!
To summarise
Being without your children on Mother’s Day isn’t easy – but it doesn’t define your worth as a mum. This is just one day, and it will pass. What matters most is the love and connection you have with your kids over the long term.
Use this time to care for yourself, whether that means rest, connection, or simply doing something that brings you joy. Planning ahead can make all the difference. And remember — celebrating Mother’s Day on another day is just as meaningful.
You’re still their mum. You always will be.
If you’re finding key dates like Mother’s Day especially tough, download my free guide: ‘Make divorce the best thing that’s ever happened to you’ It’s full of practical tips and mindset shifts to help you feel more in control – and more hopeful about what’s ahead.
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