When everything feels too much
Breakups are hard enough emotionally – add in the mental load of paperwork, decisions, logistics, and suddenly it’s all too much. Overwhelm isn’t just likely during a breakup – it’s practically guaranteed.
When I was going through my divorce, the overwhelm hit hard. I wasn’t just heartbroken – I was drowning in an unfinished house renovation, financial forms, and questions about what came next. I didn’t know where to start, and I had no one to lean on anymore.
Breakups flood your life with tasks, decisions, and stress.at a time when you barely have the energy to get through the day and you’re just trying to hold it all together. From finding a new place to live, managing finances, and filling out forms, to supporting your kids and holding down a job – it’s a lot.
Overwhelm is more than just a long to-do list. It’s the mental exhaustion of trying to hold everything together when it feels like everything’s falling apart.
But here’s the thing: you don’t have to stay stuck in it.
9 Tips to help you beat the overwhelm
These nine practical tips will help you regain a sense of calm, take action, and feel more in control – even in the middle of your divorce.
1. Take a break
When you’re overwhelmed, take a break and step away so you can change your perspective. Go for a walk or a run, do some yoga, meditate, play some music or catch up with a friend – whatever works for you. Doing this will help you to get a fresh perspective and to be more objective.
2. Do a brain dump
It really helps to get everything out of your head and onto paper (or on your laptop if you prefer) so that it’s not taking up any more of your mental space or energy. List everything out whether it’s work or personal and don’t worry about editing it or putting it in any order – just write. Once you’ve done that, step away and take a break for 15 minutes before coming back to it.
3. Delegate, Delete or Delay
Go through your list and prioritise everything. Focus on the urgent and important tasks first. Schedule time in your diary to get them done and make sure you’re realistic about how long they will take. Question whether everything on the list actually needs to be done or are there some ‘nice to haves’ on there? Is there anything you can delegate to someone else or outsource it if you can afford to? Even better, are there some things that just don’t need to be done that you can delete off the list? Which tasks can be delayed for a few weeks?
4. Setting boundaries
This is often a major cause of overwhelm. We can be our own worst enemy when it comes to saying No to people and taking on more than we can handle. Time is infinite and we never get it back – so you need to learn to put boundaries in place to protect your time. Before saying yes to someone, ask yourself whether you have the time to do it without putting yourself under too much pressure. If you need to buy yourself some time to think about it then tell them that you’ll come back to them. Don’t feel like you have to justify why you can’t do something.
5. Set realistic goals
Setting your expectations too high can result in disappointment when you have to carry things over to the next day. There are only 24 hours in a day so be realistic about the time you have available and how long something will take. Otherwise you’ll keep falling short and then feeling like a failure when you don’t achieve your goals.
6. Don’t Multi-task
Studies have shown that multi-tasking is a myth. It’s exhausting and inefficient. Your brain is continually switching from one thing to another. Try making just one thing your priority and working on that until it’s done. You’ll be much more efficient and have a much greater sense of achievement when you’ve finished.
7. Gratitude
Remind yourself that if you don’t get everything done it’s not the end of the world. Making a list of everything you’re grateful for can really help to change your perspective. Ideally practicing this every day will have even more of an impact on your mood. It’s been scientifically proven that listing 3 things you’re grateful for each day for 3 weeks will have a positive effect on your mood.
8. Be kind to yourself
Going through a breakup is tough so don’t add to all the emotions you’re already feeling by beating yourself up for not getting everything done. Be kind to yourself. Make sure you plan time in for you to relax and just ‘be’. Plan in some activities that you love doing and spend time with people that make you laugh and give you energy.
9. Ask for help
Make sure you have a great support team around you to support you – friends or family that you can rely on and feel able to ask for help. It’s not a sign of weakness and there’s no shame in asking for help, especially when you’re going through a breakup.
To summarise
When you’re going through a breakup or divorce, overwhelm can creep in quickly – and stay. You’re not just managing the emotional fallout, but juggling dozens of practical demands, often without the support you once relied on.
By learning to:
Take breaks when your brain is overloaded,
Get thoughts out of your head and onto paper,
Prioritise what truly matters (and ditch what doesn’t),
Set boundaries and realistic goals…
…you can shift out of paralysis and start moving forward with more clarity and calm.
Feeling stuck, overwhelmed and unsure what to do next? Book a free clarity call and let’s talk about how coaching can help you create a clear, manageable plan to move forward.
