Sleep is often one of the first things to suffer when you’re going through a breakup – and one of the hardest things to fix. You might find yourself lying awake for hours, waking in the middle of the night, or hitting snooze over and over because you’re still exhausted when the alarm goes off. You start the day already feeling like you’re running on empty.
With no motivation or excitement for anything in your life, there’s often no real incentive to get out of bed. You might hit snooze multiple times, drag yourself into work, and rely on caffeine just to get through the day. You’re exhausted, emotionally fragile, and functioning in survival mode. It’s not just tiring – it starts to chip away at your mental health too.
And yet, sleep is one of the most important things you need right now. It plays a critical role in helping your body and mind recover. It boosts your concentration, supports your immune system, balances your hormones, and helps regulate your mood – all things that are harder to manage in the aftermath of a breakup.
If you’re stuck in a cycle of poor sleep and emotional overwhelm, you’re not alone. But there are simple, practical changes you can make to help you get more restful sleep – even during a really tough time.
9 Tips to help improve your sleep
These 9 tips will help you create better sleep habits, even during a really tough time.
1. Have a regular time for going to bed and getting up
Getting in sync with your body’s natural sleep-wake cycle, or circadian rhythm, is one of the most important strategies for sleeping better. It helps you to feel more refreshed and energised than if you sleep the same number of hours but at different times each day. If you’re getting enough sleep, you should be able to wake up without an alarm clock. Try and keep to the same routine at weekends as well. Even varying it by an hour will leave you with that jet lagged feeling
2. Have a wind down routine
Stop using any screens ideally an hour before bed. The blue light from the screens hinders the production of melatonin which is the sleep regulating hormone. Taking a warm bath just before bed can help you get to sleep. When you cool down from getting out the bath your body thinks you’ve gone from daytime to night-time – so you’re more likely to want to sleep.
3. Review your sleep environment
Your bedroom can have a huge impact on your sleep. Make sure your bed’s comfortable and the room temperature is cool enough. The ideal temperature is 18ºC. Block out any light or noise, even if that means wearing ear plugs. Keep your room tidy and get rid of any clutter so that it’s a calm and relaxing place to be. Using aromatherapy oils such as lavender can also help if you have them in the room or spray them on your pillow.
4. Get exposure to natural day light
You’ll really benefit if you can get outside first thing as this will help you to wake up. Try and spend time outside during the day and make sure your workspace is as light as possible.
5. Exercise during the day
People who exercise regularly sleep better and the more vigorous the exercise, the more powerful the sleep benefits. It can take several months before you feel all the benefits so give it time if you’re starting a new routine. Exercise at least 3 hours before bed otherwise it can interfere with your sleep. More relaxing exercises such as yoga are better in the evenings.
6. Avoid caffeine and alcohol
Especially close to bedtime. Caffeine can affect your sleep up to 10 hours before bedtime. Eating lots of refined carbs can also cause interruptions in sleep.
7. Improve your gut health
Neurotransmitters linked to sleep – Serotonin and GABA – are produced by our gut microbiome, as well as melatonin. Eating prebiotic foods or taking a prebiotic supplement can help.
8. Keep a notepad by your bed
If you wake during the night feeling anxious or thinking about what needs to get done the next day – write it down on a pad so you can come back to it in the morning. You should then be able to forget about it and go back to sleep.
9. Learn how to get back to sleep
If you’re still awake after 15 minutes then get up and do something gently stimulating such as reading. Don’t use your screens or watch tv. Meditation and breathing exercises can also be really helpful.
To summarise
Sleep and emotional resilience go hand in hand. When you’re dealing with a breakup, your mind’s on overdrive and your body is under stress – and that makes good sleep feel out of reach. But even small adjustments to your routine can make a difference. Better sleep won’t fix everything, but it will help you feel more able to face the day.
If your nights are restless and your days feel like a struggle, it might be time to get some practical support – not just for your sleep, but for everything that’s weighing on you right now.
Book a free clarity call and we’ll look at what’s going on for you, and how coaching can help you feel more steady, more focused, and more in control – one step at a time.
