If you’re navigating the emotional rollercoaster of a breakup or divorce, it can be hard to know where to turn for support and if coaching or therapy is right for you.
Do you need therapy?
Would coaching be more helpful?
Or maybe both?
This is a question I get asked all the time. And the truth is, both therapy and coaching can be incredibly powerful. It just depends on what you need, and where you’re at in your journey.
How to know if coaching or therapy is right for you after your breakup
If you’re trying to choose between coaching and therapy, here’s a breakdown of the key differences, how each one works, and some guidance to help you make the decision that’s best for you.
1. Where do you want to focus – the past or the future?
Therapy is often about making sense of the past.
It can help you process trauma, understand patterns of behaviour, or work through mental health challenges. All of which is essential in healing from breakup so that you can move on with your life.
There are many different types of therapy – from CBT and psychodynamic to solution-focused. It’s important to find the one that suits your needs. There are in fact some similarities between certain types of therapy and coaching.
Coaching, on the other hand, is much more future-focused.
It’s focused on a goal you want to achieve in your future and taking consistent action towards that goal. That could be rebuilding your life after divorce and gaining clarity on what comes next or considering what your life could look like outside of your relationship and coming to a decision that’s right for you.
A great way to think about it is like this:
🪞 Therapy is like looking in the rearview mirror of your car – reflecting where you’ve been.
🚘 Coaching on the other hand is looking through the windscreen – focused on where you’re going.
It’s no coincidence that the windscreen is bigger than the rear view mirror in this analogy as we want to spend more of our time focusing on the future rather than staying stuck in the past.
2. How fast do you want to move forward?
Therapy is not a quick fix solution – and it’s not supposed to be.
It’s often slower and more exploratory and generally doesn’t have a defined end goal. You would usually see your therapist on a weekly basis and stay in therapy for months or even years. At the outset you don’t know how long the process will take or where it will lead.
Coaching usually has a clear goal and a set timeframe depending on what you’re hoping to achieve. It works much quicker than therapy. You don’t need to meet weekly because you’re taking action between sessions. It’s about learning tools, deciding on the best strategies to achieve your goals, and creating momentum in your life.
Think of setting the GPS in your car for your chosen destination. Therapy is taking the scenic route – whilst coaching is taking the motorway and the fastest route to your destination.
3. Are you stuck in the story? Or ready to move forward?
Therapy can be a powerful space to explore your story – especially if your breakup was a shock, or you’re still trying to understand what went wrong.
But sometimes, telling that story again and again keeps you stuck in the pain of it. It just reconnects you with all the negative energy and emotions every time you talk about it. It can feel like you’re actually reliving it again in the moment.
With coaching, we don’t spend a long time going over what’s happened as that just keeps you stuck there. Instead we’re focused on the future and moving you forwards. Coaching helps you to reach a place of acceptance – even if you’re not happy about what happened. It’s about shifting your focus to what’s within your control, so you can start to move forward and create a future where you thrive beyond your breakup.
We don’t ignore your story… we honour it… but we don’t let it define you, either.
So… is therapy or coaching right for you after your breakup?
There’s no right answer.
You might start with therapy and move into coaching.
You might do both side-by-side.
Or you might go straight into coaching because you’re ready to take action now.
The most important thing is that you get the support that meets you where you are – from someone qualified to guide you through it.
Because you don’t have to do this alone.
To summarise
Breakup and divorce coaching is still relatively new in the UK whilst much more established in the USA, Canada and Australia. More people in the UK are now turning to breakup and divorce coaching as they realise how quickly it can create real transformation.
Whether you choose therapy, coaching, or both – what matters most is that you get the support that actually helps you through this challenging time.
Therapy can help you make sense of your past.
Coaching can help you build your future.
And if you’re ready to gain clarity, rebuild your confidence and start feeling like you again after your breakup… coaching might be the next right step.
You don’t need to have it all figured out.
You just need to take the next step forward.
👉 If coaching sounds like the support you need right now, book your free clarity call today and let’s chat about how I can support you to thrive in this next chapter.
