Going through a breakup or divorce is one of the most emotionally draining experiences you’ll go through – and trying to handle it all alone only makes it harder. That’s why it’s so important to build a strong support team around you as early as possible. Not just people to vent to, but those who can help you with practical decisions, emotional ups and downs, and those 3am moments when your mind won’t stop racing.
But your support team might not be who you expect. Sometimes close friends or family are too emotionally invested – they love you, but they may not be the most helpful or objective.
So who should be in your corner?
Here are the people you should have on your team
Let’s walk through the five kinds of support that can make a real difference during your breakup or divorce.
1. Family and Friends
Think carefully about who you choose. It needs to be people who you are close to but who aren’t too emotionally invested in the situation. You need someone who is a good listener and you feel comfortable opening up to, but not too judgemental and has the time to give you. They need to be able to give you constructive advice and help you focus on your future as well as your immediate needs.
2. An exercise buddy
Exercise is normally the last thing you feel like doing when you’re going through a breakup, even if you’re used to doing it regularly. But it’s so good for you and really helps your mood by releasing all those endorphins into your body. Moving your body naturally changes how you feel. You need to choose something that you really enjoy whether that’s a walk outside, a run or a yoga class. Having a friend that can turn up and encourage you to go when you don’t feel like it is just what you need.
3. A solicitor
It is possible to go through a divorce without using a solicitor, but that depends on your situation. Assuming you need a solicitor it’s really important that you choose one you like and feel comfortable with. You’ll be sharing a lot of personal information with them at a time when you’re potentially feeling quite vulnerable.
Don’t just choose the first one that comes up in a google search for solicitors in your area. Ask for recommendations and try and meet with three if possible before you make your choice. Every situation is different so just because a solicitor worked really well for a friend, doesn’t mean they are the right person for you. Many solicitors offer a short introductory meeting free of charge so you can see if you’d feel happy working with them.
Always make sure you ask what their fees are and if possible, get an estimate of what they think the cost will be given the circumstances of your case. Ask them how you can keep the costs down.
The type of solicitor you choose will also set the tone of your divorce eg acrimonious or amicable so make sure you think about what you really want before engaging one.
4. A Financial Advisor
It’s always a good idea to use a financial advisor if you’re going through a divorce or a breakup. They can help you assess your personal financial situation so that you know exactly where you are with your finances. Understanding your personal finances is often one of the scariest things you have to do during a breakup. But instead of avoiding it, face up to it so that you can get clarity on your situation as soon as possible, and then you can do something about it if you need to. If it turns out you’ll be fine, it removes a huge amount of anxiety and overwhelm.
5. A Breakup and divorce coach
I know that if I’d had access to a breakup and divorce coach it would have helped me get over my divorce so much quicker. A coach is able to give you a whole range of tools and techniques that help you to manage all the negative emotions yourself so that you can gradually start moving on with your life. They are totally objective and non-judgemental so you can really open up to them about what you’re feeling. They will guide you through the process so that you have confidence and clarity in the decisions you’re making that will impact the rest of your life. You’ll have a plan for a future that you’re really excited to live again and the steps you need to take to get there.
To summarise
You don’t have to go through your breakup alone. The right support team can make a huge difference – emotionally, practically, and mentally. Whether it’s someone to listen without judgment, a legal expert, or a coach who can help you move forward, the support you choose now can shape how you come out the other side.
If you’re ready to feel more supported and in control, then book a free clarity call and let’s talk about how I can help you manage the overwhelm and start building a future you’re excited about.
